First sign of Christmas:
This morning (11:45) Booby made me breakfast. 2 eggs over easy (total perfect yoke runny not slimy), bacon, 12-grain toast. Then did the dishes! All the dishes even the nasty greasy shit from the bacon!
Second sign of Christmas:
Later on as I was putting clothes away I found a secret stash of money under my undies. $100 I’d put away god knows when, I don’t even remember! Yippee!
Third sign of Christmas:
When it rains, it pours. We race a lot in the Midwest. And it’s been raining a lot lately, with tornadoes and hail and shit. Dam you greenhouse effect! I recently noticed for the first time my “colleagues” were getting oddly aroused at the site of me in my rainboots with shorts. Tall black boots, black shorts, it took me a while for it to dawn on me (yeah, I’m that clueless, the stripper look.) Today I finally decided to put an end to that. I bought boots that should not arouse weird fantasies.
Aren’t they the cutest? How can a pink boot with white polka dots provoke any sexual visions? Unless of course you’re a total pederaste predator, then there’s NOTHING I can do for you, sorry…
Fourth sign of Christmas:
I’d been bitching and bickering about our old Verizon aircard. The usb port on it was used up so bad, the connection was as finicky as I can be on the worst of worst pms days. Today, in the mail, was a brand spanking new Verizon Mifi unit. A Mifi! Wireless on the go! Yahaaaahhhh! Oh glee, oh joy! I’m a hap-hap-happy camper!
Fifth sign of Christmas:
I was reading book two of Stieg Larsson’s Millenium series (The girl who dreamed of a jug of fuel and a match, direct translation, don’t know which of the titles it is in English) when my stomach started to rumble. I asked Booby if he was getting hungry too. He said he was on it. He grilled burgers and (slightly over-spiced, oh when will you learn moderation Booby?) cajun shrimp. Shrimp. Get em while you can thank-you-very-much-you-fuckin-assholes at BP! AND I had some fresh lime in the fridge to go with that cold Corona calling me by. my. name…
Thanks Jerrod. Thanks for making me jealous of your new 4G iPhone, bragging about it’s greatness, how it was Christmas for you only to make me realize: Hey, it’s Christmas for me too! So there! I poo on you and your phone.
In the meantime dear followers/peeps/stalkers, please start writing all your letters to Santa, begging him to convince Steve it’s about time he ditches that useless AT&T provider and goes with a REAL cell phone company. Hello Verizon? How much longer do I have to wait???
p.s. Jerrod, I am glad at least something is good in your life right now… Cheers!