Works of Fart

I’ve been on the road for one month. One month is long enough to look forward to coming back home and to sit and look at the art on my walls. Not that I have an extensive art collection, but one worthy of sitting and looking at the walls. For me at least.

And I really love to sit and look at the art on my walls. I feel at home among the painting, pictures and drawings… So yes, one month of living in a new hotel room daily, and traveling in the race truck is just enough to make me say “aaah, nice to be home!”  Don’t worry, 3 days later I can’t wait to hit the road yet once again. I’m a modern day nomad… And I enjoy it.

Yesterday, in the final hours of driving, I was trying to remember just what I had in the freezer wondering if I needed to run to the grocery store or not.  I knew I had some shrimp, but was it frost bitten or still good to eat? One month is enough to walk into a stale apartment… I expect it. Also to find the forgotten rotten fruit or veggies which I may have left behind, as it often happens.

But. What I walked into was NOT normal. When I first opened the door, my first thought was that an elephant had pooped in my living room. Although there is no way an elephant could have climbed up to our 2nd floor apartment… it did indeed smell like elephant poop! Once I was convinced that was not the case (no humongous pile of dung on the floor to be seen) my 2nd instinct was to check our mouse traps. That smell could be of a dead animal. A quick inspection revealed empty traps.

I looked at the fridge and thought there was no way that stench could come from our fridge. Could it? I opened the fridge door and BAM! Found the guilty culprit!?!  I don’t know when the friggin thing stopped working but, holy toledo is was beyond disgusting. And, could somebody please tell me how the hell there could be dead flies in my freezer?  Dead flies in the freezer people!  And yes, the doors were both closed, and it was plugged in since the light went on (of course I had to double check).

Booby just dragged the thing outside so we could empty it behind closed doors.  Everything just clanging and banging around in there. He is so delicate.

I came home looking forward to look at artwork, but instead had to endure fartwork in the fridge and beyond!

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5 thoughts on “Works of Fart”

  1. ICK! Do you have a waterline into your freezer for an ice maker? If you do, check the line and openings.. could be cracked, loose or ______ which is how the flies could have gotten in. Either that, or Amityville has come home.

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  2. Bet it didn't smell as bad the the doggy diarrhea that was covering every inch of my son's bedroom this weekend though…had to have the carpet cleaned and the window open in there for 4 DAYS!

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  3. That happened to me once. We'd only been gone for 2 weeks. The problem was we were gone in August and had turned the air off since we weren't going to be there. Ugh!

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  4. Oh man, this happened to me, but it wasn't our fridge! When we still lived on our apartment, the neighbor moved out and left the fridge closed and it was AWFUL. I called the Landlord and was like “Can you do a welfare check on the guy in 2?” that's seriously how bad it was, we thought it was a dead body that died while drinking milk.

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