Broken Promises

I found the ad in a comic book. I’m sure it was Archie and his gang with his never ending fear of commitment and indecision between Betty and Veronica. A classic gang of friends (the love triangle, the bully, the addict, the snob, the geek…)   There it was, between tales where Betty is dreaming of Archie and Veronica’s manipulation to steer him away from the girl next door, a promise of an underwater kingdom.

Remember the Sea Monkeys? I believed these promises. I believed that if I poured a packet of powder in a big jar of water I’d have sea monkeys to look at all day long. They would swim around, doing backflips and dives for my entertainment. Just… for… me.  My own little monkeys.

I carefully tore the ad out of the comic book, ran up to my parent’s bedroom, made sure nobody was watching as I sunk my hand in their coin jar and counted out the amount I needed. I glued all the coins to a piece of construction paper and neatly folded it and stuffed it in an envelope.  I found the stamps in the kitchen junk drawer under piles of necessary and much needed scrap. You know what I’m talking about, you have the exact same drawer in your kitchen. Told my dad I was taking the dog out for a walk and headed straight out to the mail box. The envelope was clunky and chunky and hunky, but I was positive the extra 5 stamps would cover the expense.

And I waited…

And I waited…

And I waited…

And I waited…

And I forgot I was waiting…

One day I got home from school and my sister opened the door for me. “What did you do?”  I was clueless, of course I was always messing up and doing stuff I wasn’t supposed to. It was after all my job as youngest of the family to make mistakes.  And I fulfilled my role in the family to a T.  “What do you mean?” I asked her. She tossed a package to me “You’re so stupid!”  I didn’t even waste time answering, I grabbed the envelope immediately picturing my new little kingdom waiting for me…

I ran to the kitchen, opened the cupboards looking for the biggest glass jar I could find, filled it with water. Tore open my package, had a pang of disappointment (all I found was a small packet, no castle, no throne, no crown…) opened the packet and poured it in the jar.

And I waited…

And I waited…

And I waited…

And I waited…

And I forgot I was waiting…

Clean up your room! And what is that dirty jar of water doing on your dresser anyways?” Is it normal when a 5 yr old’s room is left untouched by parents? Shouldn’t they be concerned with what is happening in their kids room? I had pretty much forgotten about my new underwater buddies when my mom asked me to throw out the water so she could wash the jar and use it for other less important stuff (like food). I looked closely into the jar, all I saw was tiny little flecks floating around. Were they sea monkeys or tiny little dust bunnies? Who the fuck knew what kind of animal they were, I didn’t have microscopic eyesight…  I flushed them out and promised myself I’d never send money in the mail for stuff I could not see before with my own eyes.

Until I would one day discover eBay that is.

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7 thoughts on “Broken Promises”

  1. I have always wanted Sea Monkeys! So much so that not even a month ago I Googled them to see if they were still around (they are) and if I could order some (I can).

    Haven't yet. But I might. I just might. I have a thing for dirty water, I guess.

    p.s. Thanks for the comment at my place.

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  2. The asshats responsible for Sea Monkeys should be criminally prosecuted for shattering the dreams of children everywhere! It has happened to ALL of us, no?? What other company is allowed to screw EVERYONE and get away with it?! ANARCHY!!!!

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  3. I always wanted the x-ray glasses they advertised in the backs of the same damn books they advertised the sea monkeys in! 'Cause I'm pervy that way, I guess.

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  4. Like Vicki, I always wanted the x-ray glasses too. On some level though I knew they just couldn't possibly work. Those Sea Monkeys were just creepy looking. The back of the comic where all that junk was is where I got most of my reading pleasure.

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  5. @ Brian: ooohhh, the deck, that woulda been soooo cool to have!
    @ Rabbit: Do it! Please! Pretty please with sugar on top, then you can tell me if it does work!!!
    @ Dr: Maybe they can cover my therapy expenses for broken hearts…
    @ Vicki: I… would… soooo… love… to… have… see… through… glasses! I NEED THEM!
    @ Catherine: They looked cute though… doncha think?

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