- If life really were that fucking fantastic, wouldn’t bacon be the healthy choice?
- If I hate myself so much when I don’t work out on a regular basis, why don’t I get my sweet little ass out at the gym more often?
- No, really, why do we make such a big deal out of birthdays? I get it when it’s for a kid, but for a grown-up?
- Talking about grown-ups, I really don’t get it when somebody tells me “Oh, I don’t drive stick shift!” How can you not have ever learn such a thing?
- Even worse when people ask me if I read. Do I read? (…)
- Rumors have been running rampant that iPhone will finally have a real service provider in January, the same rumors were expecting this to be true this summer, and January before that and then the year before and so on and so on. Should I keep waiting it out or just get the cool Droid with a slide-out full keyboard and mobile hotspot capability? I need serious help on this matter.
- Who’s in charge? (I just heard that on the news and thought it was very à propos)
- Why do old ladies believe they’ll get aids or some other disease on a public toilet and pee standing up? Just sit the fuck down and stop spraying the whole place!
- Do these pants make my butt look big? Why do people ask this question when there just is no right answer to it?
- Why ARE you afraid of clowns?
- Will that be paper or plastic?
- Do you leave 2 or 3 squares on the roll just so you don’t have to change it? Me too. But men don’t use toilet paper as often as women do, so I always end up being stuck changing it in the end.