Life’s Little Questions

http://www.gapingvoid.com
  1. If life really were that fucking fantastic, wouldn’t bacon be the healthy choice?
  2. If I hate myself so much when I don’t work out on a regular basis, why don’t I get my sweet little ass out at the gym more often?
  3. No, really, why do we make such a big deal out of birthdays? I get it when it’s for a kid, but for a grown-up?
  4. Talking about grown-ups, I really don’t get it when somebody tells me “Oh, I don’t drive stick shift!” How can you not have ever learn such a thing?
  5. Even worse when people ask me if I read. Do I read?  (…)
  6. Rumors have been running rampant that iPhone will finally have a real service provider in January, the same rumors were expecting this to be true this summer, and January before that and then the year before and so on and so on. Should I keep waiting it out or just get the cool Droid with a slide-out full keyboard and mobile hotspot capability? I need serious help on this matter.
  7. Who’s in charge? (I just heard that on the news and thought it was very à propos)
  8. Why do old ladies believe they’ll get aids or some other disease on a public toilet and pee standing up? Just sit the fuck down and stop spraying the whole place!
  9. Do these pants make my butt look big? Why do people ask this question when there just is no right answer to it?
  10. Why ARE you afraid of clowns?
  11. Will that be paper or plastic?
  12. Do you leave 2 or 3 squares on the roll just so you don’t have to change it? Me too. But men don’t use toilet paper as often as women do, so I always end up being stuck changing it in the end.

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22 thoughts on “Life’s Little Questions”

  1. Ok Nikki… on the picture – made me laugh for a solid 5 minutes seriously!

    #2 – my question is if I LOVE working out so much, yet never get to the gym… WHY the hell do I pay for it for 6 months before canceling the membership????

    #4 was mandatory from my dad… if a stick is all you have to go for help guess you'd be sucking big time when you don't know HOW to drive it! In other things I've considered it theft protection on my vehicles LOL.

    #12 – using it all and leaving JUST the roll is against the MOM rules in this house, hubby is still learning this for some reason though!

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  2. #3 – My birthday is my day. My day where I get to do whatever I want. It might be going to the zoo. It might be dinner with my friends. A couple of years ago, I threw a party for myself and asked people to bring donations for my favorite animal rescue. Sometimes it's just spending the entire day alone.
    #4 – I don't know how to drive a stick. Correction. I know how, as in I know what I'm supposed to do. I'm just not any good at it.
    #6 – I have a droid & I think it's great. Make sure you get the insurance on it though. The screens have a tendency to go bad and it's nice to be able to walk in and get a new phone for free if you have a problem.
    #10 – I am not afraid of clowns. However on Halloween I kid came to my door dressed as Penny Wise. I have to admit, it took an amazing act of willpower not to run into my house and lock the door.
    #12 – this doesn't work for me as Winston has yet to learn how to change the roll and wouldn't anyway even if he knew how.

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  3. @ Laugh: YAYYYY! You're my #101! Thanks… do you know what your profile pic looks like? heh heh heh
    @ Rabbit: Silly wabbit, dwiving's fow people! bwhahahaha!
    @ Rachel: stupid Winston, why can't he pull his own weight? (woof woof Winston)

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  4. haha. old ladies spraying…yikes!! you mean bacon is not good for you? i was a clown once…the correct answer is…its not your butt, its the pants…really.

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  5. Well, uhm, I know the MECHANICS of driving a stick and I've done it before… literally half my life ago…
    Then they told me not to. Because I need more practice, which makes no sense to me but whatever.

    Robyn, for me, it depends on the reason WHY people don't drive. Medical reasons, ok. Scared? eh… weirdo. Don't have a license b/c you aren't able to get one? red flag. Don't have one because you are lazy, red-orange flag. Don't need one because you live in a giant city where nobody drives, you've always lived there and have never ventured outside the city? kinda sad.

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  6. One thing's for sure, you'd never have to say to kids: “Finish your bacon or no dessert.”

    P.S. Three words: skinny.capri.picture. Check it out.

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  7. Here is a link to a recently posted article about the iphone and it's carriers. All of this is still just rumor and speculation but you might find it interesting.

    http://www.iphonedownloadblog.com/2010/10/27/apple-looking-into-dumping-iphone-carriers/

    As for why I'm afraid of clowns, I dunno. Never been a huge fan of supersized cartoon characters, even as a child, but then with the whole Pennywize the Clown Stephen King thing. It only reinforced it.

    http://rantsravesfactsnfics.blogspot.com/ < ------ that's where I live!

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  8. Umm.. I meant HTC Evo. No, I am not so stupid I don't know the name of my own phone. However I am so stupid as to mistype something and then have to leave a 2nd comment to correct myself. Me = Dumbass.

    SD

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  9. #11. Here the all wise government has banned plastic shopping bags so if you dont BYO the question is “You want to pay $2 for this reusable bag made from plastic type substance that will take longer to biodegrade than half a dozen of the old type of shopping bags? oh and your Chiropractor will love the extra business as you kill yourself lifting it because I have put twice as many heavy things in as I would have if you had the old bags”

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  10. @ Brian: yeah, sorry to be the one to break it to you about the bacon, I know, it's harsh…
    @ Miley: who's Robyn? did I miss something? I usually do…
    @ Vinny C: AWESOME! I saw, will go back to comment, freaky – men in skinny capris, everybody should rush over there and check it out!
    @ SD: yeah, nothing will get me away from Verizon, but I am a Mac person (sorry, will you still respect me in the morning?) and definitely doing the Droid 2 thing! -thanks
    @ Mynx: haha, maybe i should become a chiropractor
    @ Jennifer: cooooool, WILL get a Droid 2 thanks!
    @ Laugh: there you go with the Robyn again! but I like the new avatar (avatar, i just LOVE saying that word and always havta pronounce it if i were Arnold Schwarzenegger cuz it's fun!)

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  11. OOPS I skipped 2 of ya!
    @ Christy: you obviously don't lie in bed at night sleepless…
    @ Semi: I will check out the 2 links, I love your user name so I'm sure I'll love your blog as well, and thanks@

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  12. I hate it when people can't drive stick. especially chicks!(because thats 90% of the people I meet who don't know stick. heh that sounds dirty) it just aint right. besides the obvious benefit that driving stick is way fun, (especially when its a rental car and you know you won't have to replace the clutch, or tires) But what if you're walking along and a earthquake happens, and this sinkhole opens up, causing a car to swerve off the road and hit some old lady, and she's bleeding all over the place and the car catches on fire and the driver is all passed out. so you drag the driver to safety and carry the old lady to the only other car that's on the street, and you smash the window with a rock and load the wounded inside, and then you bash open the steering column and cross the wires to hotwire it and get the car running and then you realize. Oh shit, this is a stick, I can't drive this. Sorry old lady you're gonna bleed out in the back of a corolla. bummer. And now that life is on your head!

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  13. Peter… I couldn't have said it any better. Save an old lady, drive stick – unless that old lady pee's all over public toilets, then it's ok to stick to just plain old automatic transmissions!

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  14. 1. Yes it would.
    2. Because it's a pain.
    3. B-days are lame.
    4. Being born and raised in a big city.
    5. Yes you do.
    6. Some of my insider info assures me that the change over is arriving Jan or Feb. Companies that rely solely on Verizon are already testing the iPhone and iPad as company-wide replacements for the beginning of next year.
    7. The richest 5%, big corporations, and Snooki.
    8. Agreed (although that doesn't affect me)
    9. Not at all. You look amazing.
    10. Because they are innately evil.
    11. Both… oh yea.
    12. They do… it's a sexist world isn't it.

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  15. If you have to ask if pants make your ass look big, chances are that YES, they do make your ass look big. Or rather, yes, your ass is big and those pants don't help disguise it.

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  16. 1. Bacon is the healthier choice over soda. So I always go for bacon and never ever feel guilty.
    3. For the past 3 years, I've decided to spend my birthday alone. Either doing something new or going some place I've never been. I bought my ticket a couple of days ago (last minute) and I'm going to be a stranger for 4 days down South of the Philippines 🙂
    4. I am not licensed but i know how to drive a stick shift 🙂
    5. Do I read?
    7. It's the management. That's always the answer. Who's in charge? The management.

    You are my good morning read for today 🙂

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