Does My Bone Stick Out?

Totally irrelevant, but I really thought at first Facebook was giving away free babies. And I thought, man why didn’t I join Facebook years and years ago when I was on that miscarriage roller coast ride?

I sprained my ankle twice. Once was falling off a fence on Mat Night. Mat Night for all you non-Canadian readers is the night before Halloween. Where us rambunctious (thanks spell checker) young hooligan teenagers run amok and throw eggs on houses, cover cars with toothpaste, throw out bags filled with recently raked leaves over cleanly raked laws, and other fun stuff. Oh the fond memories. Anyways, we were running away from this one dude pent on catching us when we climbed over this rickety old fence in my neighbor’s yard. A kid who was home alone heard us laughing so he came out of his house with a RIFLE aimed it at us and told us to leave his property. I fell off the rickety old fence and totaled my ankle. It was bad, I knew it was bad because it looked like a tennis ball suddenly grew inside my sock.

The second time was a bit more embarrassing. I’d been hired to overlook all the major ceremonies of these games. All week-end I was running and climbing these ladders to install lights and speakers and stuff. You know, like a roadie and shit. I loved it. I get to carry a walkie-talkie on my belt and feel awesomely high on adrenaline. So, the week-end went without a hitch, all my ceremonies were great and all the light and sounds right on cue.  Then the last night was ended with a dance for the kids competing in the games.

I’m dancing all crazy like it was the 80s! Bopping, jumping, wango’ing my tango and everything… When my friend bumped into me and I fell. He looked down at me, asked me what I was doing there and yanked me up. That tennis ball came back into my sock. Only problem was:

  1. I was staying in a student’s dorm, 4 flights up, no escalator;
  2. I was flying out the next morning at 4 am;
  3. My friends insisted I go to the hospital just in case, they kept me there until 2 am;
  4. The flight home was overbooked, which meant full seats everywhere with my totally swollen and painful ankle;
  5. Lucky me, 1 person did not show up for the flight, that person was seated next to me, so I could keep my foot up;
  6. Once I got home, I had to hail a taxi cab with all my luggage and make it home;
  7. Once home home I had to wash my clothes and re-pack another suitcase since I was leaving for my summer vacation (aren’t you glad I said “vacation” and not vacay???);
  8. I was driving out with my then sister in law 12 hours to the coast for 5 weeks, her car didn’t have cruise control;
  9. She expected me to do most of the driving, with my big fat swollen painful ankle that still have the tennis ball growing out of it!

Now I have this bony lump sticking out on my ankle. I love asking strangers if they see my bone sticking out. I love it even more when I tell them “No really, I got a bone sticking out, wanna feel it?”

Do you have anything sticking out you’d like people to feel? Why didn’t that come out right? The question I mean, not the bone,well ok, the bone too. So, do you?

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12 thoughts on “Does My Bone Stick Out?”

  1. When people want to touch what I have sticking out, I usually slap them lol. Who needs fingerprints all over your t-shirt?

    Great post, I get to start work with a smile 🙂

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  2. Best question I've ever seen at the end of a blog (and if I say I find most of them annoying, would you ban me from your Facebook and Twitter and google Connect?) “Do you have anything sticking out you'd like people to feel?” There are not many moments in my life when I really really wish I had a penis. NOW is one of them. If you feel the top of my head, you may feel 2 horns poking out…

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  3. Yes, I do have something sticking out. No, I do not like when people try to feel it. I'll be glad when I eventually lose this gut & that girl in the office who think it's cute to poke me in the side & go “Woohoo!” can finally stop. I'm not the Pillsbury Dough Boy!!!

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  4. @ Minx: yeah, hands off! I even have a tank top that says “What are you staring at?”love it…
    @ Brian: define “floating”
    @ Absence: note to self – hatred of questions… shit I may have to re-evaluate my whole new shift in my posts! and no, I'd never block you out, controversy is my food man!
    @ Oilfield: that's what she said!
    @ JJ: me toooo! What sucks is I cannot chew gum while listening to my iPod, the popping is too loud!
    @ Alexis: the best part was riding by their house the next day on our bikes giving them a look of sincere sympathy… we were horrible!
    @ Vinny: aaawww, poor little dough boy!
    @ Holly: bwhahahaha! i heart you for your way of thinking…

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  5. I fell down the stairs once and was lucky that I sprained my ankle and not much else. It took FOREVER to heal. It was around the same time I met my soon-to-be husband (pity points), so I guess it all worked out in the end.

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  6. “Do you have anything sticking out you'd like people to feel? Why didn't that come out right? The question I mean, not the bone,well ok, the bone too. So, do you?”

    I have nothing to add to the above statement that would increase it's laughable or informative potential. You totally win.

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  7. @ Florida: Crazy how long it takes to heal a sprained heal hunh? I think it's worse than a broken bone…
    @ Dr-Dr: why thank you! I don't know what I win but winning IS everything…

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