Sometimes you realize you are having a perfect day. And it’s so cool when in the midst of it you can notice it. What does it take to have a perfect day? Does it have to be exclusively great things or can you still have regular shit happen because let’s face it, life is full of ups and downs. And I’m so busy I don’t even have time for a job! How could I fit in some silly bullshit when I have days like yesterday? How?
Here’s my day in a nutshell:
- I’m sitting at my computer with my bowl of coffee, and Booby tells me he wants to watch the previous night’s Californication episode online. So I push my stuff away and get ready to enjoy the oh-so-sexy Hank Moody. Starting the day with Hank is like spray-painting yourself with Teflon – any shit coming your way will just slide right off.
- After the show Booby leaves (finally) for the hardware store, so I rush out and get all my shit lined up to record my first vlog! My cat mask has a useless elastic, so I have to re-do it, thank god I had some black elastic…
- I recorded my thingydoo and start messing around with the fonts and title thing when boom Booby walks in and expects me to put the computer away and assist him in fixing the holding tank. Can any job be more grosstastic than THAT?
- We motor out to the service dock to suck off the pooper tank. Again. Grosstastic. If you’ve never seen a suck-it-off, it’s a giant vacuum cleaner with a clear hose you push into your waste hole so you can see the sh!t literally being sucked out. Since our holding tank needed repair, and we didn’t want to work on a shitfested tank, we filled it up with water then sucked the murky agua outta there. Fun.
- We headed back to our dock (swooshing around another boat who’d been waiting for us to vacate the single spot). Booby decides we HAVE to go for a ride so that means running around getting the boat ready for a rockin ride. Meanwhile, I have my vlog just sitting there, waiting to be published. But life is beckoning me.
- We back out of our dock spot. Backing up the shifter breaks. The shifter fucking takes a crap on us! Our boat is locked into reverse in the middle of a turn. Backing up out of our dock spot. (Yeah, I know I’m repeating myself but it was cool. Cool meaning we totally expected to pinball our way between all the other docked boats!)
- Luckily we had some horse shoes up our asses because we managed to simply keep backing up all the way into an open dock spot! I’m yelling at Booby to turn the motor off so we can just slowly glide in… He’s in full panic mode, but since he isn’t here to defend himself I get to pretend like I took control of the situation. Booyah.
- I get an email in reply to a job I actually DID apply for (and not one of those annoying life insurance sales’ things that make me want to pull my hair out one sliver at a time) inviting me for an interview! Eeeks! Somebody wants me! Somebody I want, wants me back! Oh it’s going to be a good-good day!
- I married a mechanic. Perfect! He tells me I can go and do whatever I want while he finds out what he needs to do to fix the shifter. Of course I run downstairs to finalize my vlog and share it with the world! Hahaha, yes, life is perfect in my denial loaded head!
- He runs down the steps to proudly tell me he’s done! He’s done! Already? “Are you sure you don’t need to run out for parts or anything???” I was hoping I’d be off the hook and get to enjoy a day with my computer…
reluctantly for mefinally head back out. We pull out the sails and head south. Check THIS out: there’s a shitload of dolphins all around us. They’re all over the place. Dolphins! Have I ever mentioned how much I LOOOOOVE dolphins? At one point we’ve got 8-10 dolphins swimming right by the front of our boat, I can almost touch them. Booby and I are just sitting there watching them. The autopilot is in control, the cockpit is empty… Fuck directing the boat, we’ve got dolphins to observe. They’re jumping and diving over each other, sneaking glances at us, swimming on their backs. I was so caught up, I didn’t even go grab my camera, I didn’t want to miss a single moment!
- By 3:30 we decide to start heading back (against the wind, against the 4-foot swells) since I have a 6 pm engagement with my
accidents waiting to happenfuture calling.
- The moment I’ve been waiting for FINALLY appears and Booby drives me out to the super secret roller derby training compound!
- I’m smiling right now as I think back of that whole night. I am so hooked. Immagonnabeafuckinrollerderbychick. I’ve even found my derby name. I can’t share it yet because you have to register your name and if something comes close to it then you can’t have it! So you’ll have to wait.
- Booby picks me up after the training slash basic test session and we do what you should always do after a work out: go out for beer and pizza as I excitedly talk non stop about my newfound friends!
And today? Bring it on life… Bring it fuckin on!