What Does It Take?

Sometimes you realize you are having a perfect day. And it’s so cool when in the midst of it you can notice it. What does it take to have a perfect day? Does it have to be exclusively great things or can you still have regular shit happen because let’s face it, life is full of ups and downs. And I’m so busy I don’t even have time for a job! How could I fit in some silly bullshit when I have days like yesterday? How?

Here’s my day in a nutshell:

  1. I’m sitting at my computer with my bowl of coffee, and Booby tells me he wants to watch the previous night’s Californication episode online. So I push my stuff away and get ready to enjoy the oh-so-sexy Hank Moody. Starting the day with Hank is like spray-painting yourself with Teflon – any shit coming your way will just slide right off.
  2. After the show Booby leaves (finally) for the hardware store, so I rush out and get all my shit lined up to record my first vlog! My cat mask has a useless elastic, so I have to re-do it, thank god I had some black elastic…
  3. I recorded my thingydoo and start messing around with the fonts and title thing when boom Booby walks in and expects me to put the computer away and assist him in fixing the holding tank. Can any job be more grosstastic than THAT?
  4. We motor out to the service dock to suck off the pooper tank. Again. Grosstastic. If you’ve never seen a suck-it-off, it’s a giant vacuum cleaner with a clear hose you push into your waste hole so you can see the sh!t literally being sucked out. Since our holding tank needed repair, and we didn’t want to work on a shitfested tank, we filled it up with water then sucked the murky agua outta there. Fun.
  5. We headed back to our dock (swooshing around another boat who’d been waiting for us to vacate the single spot). Booby decides we HAVE to go for a ride so that means running around getting the boat ready for a rockin ride. Meanwhile, I have my vlog just sitting there, waiting to be published. But life is beckoning me.
  6. We back out of our dock spot. Backing up the shifter breaks. The shifter fucking takes a crap on us! Our boat is locked into reverse in the middle of a turn. Backing up out of our dock spot. (Yeah, I know I’m repeating myself but it was cool. Cool meaning we totally expected to pinball our way between all the other docked boats!)
  7. Luckily we had some horse shoes up our asses because we managed to simply keep backing up all the way into an open dock spot! I’m yelling at Booby to turn the motor off so we can just slowly glide in… He’s in full panic mode, but since he isn’t here to defend himself I get to pretend like I took control of the situation. Booyah.
  8. I get an email in reply to a job I actually DID apply for (and not one of those annoying life insurance sales’ things that make me want to pull my hair out one sliver at a time) inviting me for an interview! Eeeks! Somebody wants me! Somebody I want, wants me back! Oh it’s going to be a good-good day!
  9. I married a mechanic. Perfect! He tells me I can go and do whatever I want while he finds out what he needs to do to fix the shifter. Of course I run downstairs to finalize my vlog and share it with the world! Hahaha, yes, life is perfect in my denial loaded head!
  10. He runs down the steps to proudly tell me he’s done! He’s done! Already? “Are you sure you don’t need to run out for parts or anything???” I was hoping I’d be off the hook and get to enjoy a day with my computer…
  11. We reluctantly for me finally head back out. We pull out the sails and head south. Check THIS out: there’s a shitload of dolphins all around us. They’re all over the place. Dolphins! Have I ever mentioned how much I LOOOOOVE dolphins? At one point we’ve got 8-10 dolphins swimming right by the front of our boat, I can almost touch them. Booby and I are just sitting there watching them. The autopilot is in control, the cockpit is empty… Fuck directing the boat, we’ve got dolphins to observe. They’re jumping and diving over each other, sneaking glances at us, swimming on their backs. I was so caught up, I didn’t even go grab my camera, I didn’t want to miss a single moment!
  12. By 3:30 we decide to start heading back (against the wind, against the 4-foot swells) since I have a 6 pm engagement with my accidents waiting to happen future calling.
  13. The moment I’ve been waiting for FINALLY appears and Booby drives me out to the super secret roller derby training compound! 
  14. I’m smiling right now as I think back of that whole night. I am so hooked. Immagonnabeafuckinrollerderbychick. I’ve even found my derby name. I can’t share it yet because you have to register your name and if something comes close to it then you can’t have it! So you’ll have to wait.
  15. Booby picks me up after the training slash basic test session and we do what you should always do after a work out: go out for beer and pizza as I excitedly talk non stop about my newfound friends!

And today? Bring it on life… Bring it fuckin on! 

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16 thoughts on “What Does It Take?”

  1. Well congrats on getting the shitter fixed.

    That is awesome that you saw the dolphins. I feel the same way when I take a certain ferry here in town and can see them.

    And I hope you get the name you want.

    You have to promise to post a pic of you in your asskicking roller derby outfit.

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  2. well outside of smelling crap for a period of time it sounds like a beautiful day…love dolphins too…once swam with them in the wild…after i got over the fact i initially thought they were sharks…i think i smelled crap that day too…hmm….

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  3. Any day that starts with the phrase “…giant vacuum cleaner with a clear hose you push into your waste hole…” and still ends up being a great day counts as perfect in my book.

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  4. Sounds like a great day to me.

    I did want to ask though…did you guys put horseshoes up your ass for luck or because the pooper tank needed servicing? Sorry, I'm easily distracted…oh, wait dolphins? You are so lucky. I love dolphins!

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  5. Wht a brilliant day. I love being out on the water when there are dolphins around. Cant wait to hear more about roller derby.
    You go girl.

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  6. “Shitter” and “Shifter” aren't that too far about in sound. If you have anything else on the boat that even sounds remotely like those words, replace it now…

    Dolphins! That must have been amazing! I'm thinking you need a cheapish waterproof camera that you can keep somewhere above deck for things just like this!

    great post!!!

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  7. I came across your blog a few days ago and I've been stalking you secretly (don't panic….I'm not a creepy dangerous stalker) :):) And I have to admit, you seem like a really cool lady! With that said, I wanted to let you know that I tagged you in my most recent post because I think you're cool! Maybe you're into 'shout-outs' – maybe you're not (no pressure if you choose not to participate) :):) ….I just wanted you to know that I enjoy reading your blog and I wanted everyone else to know too! :):) I hope to keep in touch….be warned! :):)

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  8. You had me at Hank Moody. Californiation is my favorite show at the moment. 😀

    Great post about a great day. Hope there are more awesome days like this in your future. And my future.

    Like

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