You know THAT exercise machine that quietly sits in your basement acting as a clothes hanger? Or the handy one that folds flat and remains hidden under your bed? Or that stationary bike in the garage buried under clutter and more clutter and boxes of old clothing (the clothes you’ve outgrown but was hoping to fit into again after using that stationary bike)…
Yeah. That machine. The “I will dedicate my life to this machine and use it to make myself a better person” toy. Which eventually becomes the “Tomorrow I will use it” machine. And ultimately ends up as the “Just hang that shit on that handle bar there” thing.
I go through phases. And when I’m in a phase I plunge head first and enjoy every single aspect of the new phase. The new love. The new thing. I’ve dabbled with watercolors, ceramics, drawing, drumming (haha, THAT was funny), surfing, kayaking, cycling, ad nauseum’ing… I’ve purchased so many toys, equipment and uniforms that I wonder how I’ve managed to set money aside and build a little cushion!
And now what? I haven’t posted since last Tuesday. And I’m not falling apart, I’m not going all psycho about checking my stats, my numbers or my comments. Is my blog like an unused exercise machine I just may try to sell on CraigsList? Oooh, can I do that?
Every single time I fell in love I had to pull back and wonder if the new love was another “thing” or phase. I held back from telling guys I loved them simply because I totally didn’t trust myself. I hate breaking hearts. And I would find out if it was a phase once it was too late and the dude was totally hooked and showing me rings. Oops.
Soooooooo… I’ll be back. I know it. And I do apologize to my new followers/readers. Oops. In the meantime I’m obsessing over roller-derby, learning Spanish and scuba diving. Oh and dolphins. I fucking love the dolphins! If I can figure out how to hang clothes on a dolphin I just may buy one!