It has happened. Don’t know when exactly but I know it’s happened. Kind of like watching Robert Redford, do you remember when the switch occurred where he went from one of the most handsome man on the face of the earth to be a grizzly old guy with a leather face? When did THAT happen?
It’s happened to me. Not that I was once the most handsome man on the face of the earth, because well, I’m not a man, and let’s face it – I’ve never been extremely handsome (can we even say “handsome” for women?). But what I do know is I’ve switched from being asked for my ID when I order drinks to:
- being called Ma’am from younger chicks;
- having people not flinch when I tell them my age (trust me, my entire life people have not believed me when I told them how old I was always thinking I was YEARS younger);
- having all over body pain after working for 17 straight hours at the IndieFest.
OK, so I get bonus points for the roller derby, and the scuba diving… and I do happen to be in pretty good shape, but still.
I AM OLD.
And it breaks my heart.
In other news: can I tell you a secret? Get closer, I need to whisper this… Ssshhhhh! Don’t tell anyone but, I secretly wish mermaids really existed. I do. I honestly do. There, it’s out. And if mermaids existed, I’d be their spokesperson. I’d create a sister Greenpeace league for the protection of mermaids. I would speak their language and represent them outside the water. And my desire to get PADI certification? You got me. I want to explore the seas and see for myself if there is some kind of hybrid existence living underwater.
I hope mermaids aren’t ageists. If so, they would most likely fire me as their rep and hire a younger and fresher spokesperson. That would suck. Maybe I would need to create an age sensitivity awareness program. I couldn’t bear being fired from my beloved mermaids.