My Favorite Topic: Poop!

I have a friend who owns a Roto Rooter franchise. And you thought your job was shitty? And yes, I have friends in mighty high places! His happy hour stories are usually quite amusing.

This one day… he tells us how he gets called in to unplug a seriously plugged up toilet. he fishes all the crap out of it and up comes a bunch of condoms. A bunch of them. He tells the guy he should consider throwing those out in the trash, not the toilet. The guy tells him he needs to talk to his wife, since he doesn’t use condoms.


Another friend of mine was a pharmacist. He quickly learned the necessity to provide extra details about prescriptions, even details he thought could go without saying. When a client came back asking “How the heck am I supposed to swallow THIS pill?” when he was waving a suppository, he thought he was going to faint. “Sir, do you know what a suppository is?”  When all he got was a blank stare followed by “Am I supposed to know all the medical terms for various pills? I imagined it stood for horse-size pill!”


You know what I hate? The toilet brush. Ugh, how the heck do you get your’s all clean after a quick scrub around the bowl? There’s always poop crumbs that cling to the bristles. It doesn’t matter how harsh I swoosh it around the bowl, poop crumbs just cling for dear life. And when I use it in the boat toilet it’s even worse. Why do they call boat toilets heads? And does that make the brush a head brush? And to scrub it, am I actually giving head?

Where am I going with this post?

And trust me, don’t ever bring up the poop topic during an interview. No matter the job, no matter how “lax” the interviewer may appear – NO POOP TALK.



15 thoughts on “My Favorite Topic: Poop!”

  1. Absolutely hysterical post. Loved it. My brother used to pump cess pools for a living. His clothes were splattered and he stunk so bad and his stories were gross. But he made good $$ while he did it. Make me think of him.


It's not a monologue if you leave me a comment.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s