A New Milestone


I turned 45 this month.

If you’ve been reading me lately you already know this mid-life crisis I’m going through is driving me insane. 45. Forty. Five. Google 45 and then hit the “images” option. It’s a bunch of guns. Subliminally telling me what I need to do?

My nieces texted me with good wishes reminding me of how rockin cool I was. They’re so sweet. Probably doing what their moms, my sisters, were forcing them to do.

But I also made a decision to stop freaking out about my age. And my wrinkles. And my droopy cheeks. And my knobby knees. That’s it. Total acceptance of my pain in my bones when I wake up. And the fact that by 9 pm I’m struggling to stay awake. And the fact that when teenagers talk I just want to scream “STOP MUMBLING!!!!” then re-collect myself before adding “AND PULL UP YOUR PANTS!!!”.

Yes. I am going to be zen about this mid-life thing. So totally zen when I’m jumping over obstacles in my roller skates hoping that if I fall I won’t come crashing down land on my already sore butt. Totally zen as I’m strapping myself into the regulators and vest and oxy tanks… Very zen when I’m praying the sail boat doesn’t tip over.

Zen. Welcome to my life as I patiently check off every item on my bucket list.

p.s. Do you realize some people don’t even know what that thing is up there?



24 thoughts on “A New Milestone”

  1. @ Dude: you're joking right? You were a DJ! You spun records (real ones) ok, so you're joking…
    @ Jotter: You got 5 on me? Cool! I'm high fiving you right now, because that's what us old timees do… :o)


  2. Drops head… shaking in bewilderment!

    Remember those old 45's? Those vinyl singles? The middle hole was too big, so we had to snap this plastic thingy in it to put the record on a turntable? I can see you guys now snapping into recognition going “Oh yeaaaaaaaaahhhhh, I remmmemmber!” 45? Get it?


  3. rock that bucket list…and the roller derby i think that is so cool…just b/c you are a certain age does not mean you have to act like it…at least that is my motto…


  4. As soon as you mentioned DJ it came to me. That's how far we've come as a society, no one (not even those of us who physically used them) remembers those things you needed to play 45s.

    For all you young kids, without that little plastic piece the record would fly off the turn table – which in itself was kind of amusing, but not good for the vinyl!



  5. I actually love growing older. I know that I may “still be young” to some people but I think that getting older is a beautiful thing. I have always thought that. I guess that I am weird. Maybe my next blog should be called “journey to forty five.”


  6. “I know! Oh, Oh, Mr. Kotter! Mr. Kotter, I know!” (Yes, I am old enough to quote welcome back Kotter too, so you are not alone in feeling old, my friend. Anyhoo, the thing is the middle bit of a 45 singles record, those little one from the sixties and 70's. Amiright? – G
    PS. Happy Birthday!!!


  7. More power to ya honey. I'm struggling with being 26. I'm sure I'm in for a full-blown mental breakdown by the time I hit 35. Why can't we just stay 24 forever??


  8. You should be teaching courses on Zen.

    Also, now that it has been thoroughly explained, I can pretend that I knew what that mysterious thing was.


  9. I think I'm just done torturing myself. It feels like I have been criticizing myself regularly for not being skinnier and younger since I was young and skinny. Over it.

    Cheers to that bucket list.


  10. You are the zennest…zenniest? person I know. You are the Queen of Zen. (by the way, no one under 40 can even qualify as zen…they are way too hyper) You are the Zen Guru. No one can master zen as you can. I don't even have a bucket list, simply because that would be another list that I would feel like crap for not fishing. You, on the other hand, are just awesomely zen!


  11. I want to be just like you when I grow up. And I know what that thing is up there. At least I know what it's used for. Do they have a name? I still have a few. Now if I could just get that damn needle fixed, we'd have a party!


  12. I can not believe I haven't found you before now. What a delightful blog. Sarcasm and sauciness in one place? Sign me the eff up! Which basically translates into me following you.

    And you are basically living my dream right now.


  13. Happy Birthday, Darling! I'm right behind you. 45 in July.

    I get this really cool catalog with unique stuff in it and someone makes necklaces out of those adapters and they're like a hundred bucks! I'm not THAT nostalgic.

    And the “kids” these days probably think it's a swastika.


  14. you're much younger in spirit than most 20 somethings i know. happy birthday!!!

    (if it's any consolation i had a gajillion of those 45 thingamajigs, and then a trillion cassette tapes, a bazillion cds, and now fuckton of mp3s. and that's because we rock!)


  15. Now that I am at this age I sometimes wonder the “secret inner lives” that my parents must have had… I love this article on (NOT) aging by Chicken: http://rhodeislandread.blogspot.com/2011/03/tough-old-chicken.html

    Here's the one that made me smile & cry at the same time:

    “…Without any warning whatsoever, your peripheral vision catches a bit of light, causing you to turn your head toward the window, where your eyes take in, and immediately transfer to your brain, a horrifying truth.

    You may feel 22, but you sure don't look it.”

    We (probalby mostly women) all feel the same way and I am trying to learn to accept the truth that I am old enough, I have paid my dues, and I don't give a flying fuck if I am not “acting my age”!


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