Can’t Get What You Want

The sunrise on a 2-day crossing
The sunrise on a 2-day crossing

You can’t get what you want, unless you know what you want…

I’ve rarely heard anything that rang truer than those words. It’s so basic and elementary. Figure out what you want out of life and then set out to earn it, win it, deserve it, gain it or even take it. Whenever unemployed I’ve always applied for every single available job for the single facts that: a) I was needing employment; and b) I felt I qualified. The desire to do that specific job was ever so rarely part of the equation.

I think life has served me well by not giving me those jobs. Any of them. Ditto on my chasing single men or boys. That one could have gotten me into so much more trouble than I dare to imagine.

We’ve sailed out as far as we had been to last year in the Bahia de Banderas (the Puerto Vallarta bay). It’s a long ways, and for those who’ve never even left their home state it can be seen as daring and brave. But for those around us, other cruisers we meet in the bay – this is still little league. It’s like we’ve never even dared spend the night going commando without our diapers and we can still hear the screeching sound of our training wheels dragging beside us.

Never mind the fact it takes one month to sail to this point from San Diego – for those who have circumnavigated the planet it’s like we’ve never even left our backyard! Trust me, this is nothing…

When we left San Diego we held on to the ultimate goal: to cross the Pacific with 100s of other Puddle Jumpers. We geared up for it (almost) and got most tools and toys necessary for the crossing. Like I said: almost. Currently our house battery pack is not 100%. That means by the time the sun shows its bright face in the morning our fridges have run out of power. It’s not that big of a deal while we’re anchored. But out in the middle of the ocean with the auto helm running 24-7, the loss of battery power is a HUGE deal. *shiver*

A is where we are and B is the Marquesas: a long long way!
A is where we are and B is the Marquesas: a long long way!

Our location (A) is ideal for a crossing – it’s a one-month trip before even dropping the anchor at the first island of the French Polynesia (B). One month. If all goes well… It can take longer. Much longer.

We simply cannot make up our minds. We just can’t! On the plus side:

  1. When will we ever get the chance to cross an ocean ever again?
  2. This is Tahiti we’re talking about… Bora Bora? The Marquesas? Paradise?
  3. The adventure of a life time. Just the thought of the people we’d meet, other jumpers, the Polynesians, etc – it’s a dream!

And then there are the negative sides:

  1. The uncertainty
  2. Important stuff breaking – it happens all the time, and like Cap’t Ron said “If anything’s gonna happen, it’ll happen out there” and out there is nowhere near hardware stores, boat supplies, hospitals and *gulps* bars.
  3. Running out of money. It can happen. Our funds are not unlimited, and if we run out while we happen to be on the other side of the planet, making our way back will be hell.
  4. The boredom. Four long weeks before touching land is hard to find stuff to do to fill in those voids. Very long.
  5. The food supplies – fruits & veggies do not last one month, nor do most dairy products. Imagine if my fridge does die? Where will I get ice for my cocktails?
  6. Storms. Sharks. Pirates. Crashing meteors. All have been known to happen.
  7. Living without the internet  😦  for god-knows-how-long!

Is it any wonder we cannot make up our minds? If I don’t know what kind of work I want to do next, or if I cannot make up my mind on what to eat for breakfast,  of if I don’t know what spice I would be if I ever joined a newly rejuvenated Spice Girls ensemble and if I debate endlessly in the toilet paper aisle at the grocery store…

How can I be expected to make such a life changing decision?


16 thoughts on “Can’t Get What You Want”

  1. To me, it sounds like the kind of adventure that only comes around once in a lifetime. Further, it NEVER comes around in most peoples lifetime. I know how I am; if I had the chance to do this and didn’t take it, I’d always regret it. I only know you from our blogs, but you seem like the type of person who loves an adventure, even if it involves some risk. I hope you can do it!


  2. I do not think I would be able to spend that much time at sea and not just because I get seasick but because unless I had all my family around me I would miss them all soooooo much……….I am not good at making life changing decisions………..


  3. When I was just out of school, my best friend and my younger brother found someone on the east coast with a drive-away (a car they wanted moved to the west coast), and they begged me to go with them. They had mapped out a route that put them in/near college towns with chapters of their fraternities (i.e., free lodging) every night. The adventure of a lifetime, for kids our age. Well, short of something overseas. I didn’t go.


    GO!! Even if some of those “negatives” happen, you’ll figure it out. Just go. Seriously. Take pictures and pens/paper. Go.


      1. Ugh. I had no good reason for not going. I had a job, but not enough of one to keep me from such a potential adventure. It pains me to think about it, really. I’d like to think I made up for it, at least somewhat, by taking some ridiculous road trips later on, both solo and with [Maris], but I’ll always regret not taking that first one. I guess my adventuresome side was a bit late in developing.


        1. I hear ya… back when I was doing contract and consulting work I turned down an offer to accompany a group of high school kids on an archeological trip to Egypt because I had just started a contract and they were too far and few apart to not work… That is now part of my regrets!


    1. I think the major part playing in the “not wanting to do it” column is the boredom factor. One month to cross over then the return crossing is much longer since the winds and currents do not usually favor an eastbound crossing. That is the main complaint you hear from people who’ve done the crossing. That there plays a huge factor. Yesterday we were discussing it and realized the main draw is feeling like the grass may be greener… THIS are we are in has everything – the surfing, the whales, the diving, the snorkeling, etc. So yeah, I think we just may be entirely happy here and why go looking elsewhere? Right?


      1. That makes great sense too!
        And of course, there’s always next year if you decide you do want to do it.
        Maybe just keep on going east, and you can round the horn!


        1. And there lies the fear factor… Once beyond Australia/New Zealand the Indian Ocean is not a friendly one, nor is South Africa. We have thought of doing a circle up towards Hawaii then back upon San Fran which is doable, but the timing is always an issue. The cyclones kick up in South Pacific in November…


  4. Oh jeez. I’m sorry it took me so long to get here. What an insanely exciting and terrifying thing to decide. Knowing me, I would probably throw caution ridiculously into the wind and decide to do it. Freak out. Then decide against it. About 50 times before I finally came to a real decision. I can’t even think of any meaningful advice. Anything I could say would be tired and cliche. The only thing I know for certain is that if you decide to do this, I will miss you so much. I wish we had more chances to meet and talk and be friends in real life. Your stories, your ambition, your fearlessness in the face of uncertainty, your audacity to fuck-it-all-to-hell push me forward every day, in every terrifying decision I have to make. Yes, I am sure of it. The only thing I know to say is that I will miss you. I will think about you a lot. I will hope that you are safe and happy and living your dream. And I will fall all over myself to finally be able to read the adventure when you get back. And you are amazing.


It's not a monologue if you leave me a comment.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s