Unique: A (bow-chika-wow-wow) Conception

Blanche, Unique’s unique mother, had an average pregnancy. Cravings weren’t overly erratic, she gained 30 pounds which was entirely normal for her size, and she delivered Unique exactly nine months to the day after conception.

Most people would not remember the conception. Or not the specific precise time at which they conceived. Especially couples who try and try. But this particular conception stood out. Most likely the only thing to ever stand out in Unique’s life.

She and Roger put Timothy to bed early after keeping him so active all day. He was such a rambunctious little boy.That was the day he discovered butterflies. Barely walking and still shaky on his feet he ran after them. “Flutterby!” Pointing and running. Screaming and laughing. “Flutterby!” Blanche laughed so hard when she first heard her son. Timmy looked at her, pointed his finger and ordered “No laugh Mommy. No laugh.” His personality sure showed early signs of a no-mess, no-fuss boy.

Roger helped him capture his first butterfly. He held it cupped in his hands. Timmy opened his hand hoping to hold it. “Me Daddy!” Roger winked towards his wife and said “Sure Timmy” he opened his hands towards him and the butterfly flew away sending Timothy chasing after it. “Wheeee!”

Rodge joined Blanche who was sitting on a blanket in the shade. He leaned towards her using his shift in weight to collapse on her making her laugh. “My wine! Stop it, you’ll make me spill!” Roger half kissed her, half bit her neck. Positioned like this she could feel him. “Knock-knock,” he said. “Coming!” she answered. That was their secret cue. Their way of letting each other know what they wanted.

Sometimes, in the middle of a dinner with friends, Roger would look at Blanche as she was deep in a conversation and simply utter those two magical words in her ear “Knock-knock.” And she knew it was time to start thinking of heading back home.

They remained on the blanket holding hands, playing with each other’s fingers. Darting, squeezing, tickling – only their fingers touched as they kept a watchful eye over their son. This was the most intriguing and open session of foreplay they’d ever experienced. Her legs tingled as her body warmed to Roger’s gaze. The longer they sat on the blanket the hungrier they got. Finally Roger broke the spell and slapped his hands together. He jumped up and turned towards his wife holding his hands out. She grabbed them and he pulled her up and held her tight. “Knock-knock!” she said. He kissed her and let her go to run after Timothy.

She picked up the blanket, the wine bottle and the glasses and made her way back to the house. He threw Timmy over his right shoulder yelling “Potatoes! Who wants taters? I have a big heavy bag for sale!” He shut the door behind him just as Blanche was setting the table.

Anybody who would happen to walk in would know instantly this couple had no interest in their food. They fed a very tired baby boy who struggled to keep his eyes open. Meanwhile, under the table, their feet touched and she playfully tugged on his leg hair pinching it between her big toe and the second one – what she called the toe claw. He winced every time and she loved it.

Blanche picked Timmy up after wiping his face down, and took him up to his room. She put him in his bed, tucked his blanket in and handed him his favorite blue T-Rex teddy. Turned on the night light and half closed his door. Just before leaving his room she looked at him and he was already fast asleep.

“Knock-knock” Roger yelled from their bedroom. Blanche walked in and found him laying on his back, naked with nothing but a red ribbon bow sitting ever so perfectly below his belly-button. “Coming!” she chanted as she joined him. “I have a gift for you… guess what it is!” She laughed “Oh I can’t wait to unwrap it!” she ripped her dress off and dove on the bed plucking the bow and tossing it across the room.

“Finally time for OUR dinner, I’m ravished!”

Two hours later Timmy’s Mom and Dad were covered in sweat, but very happily smiling. Little did he know he had a baby sister on the way. If she could already speak she would say: “Coming!”

………………………………………
Ever wonder where Unique came from? She came from a hot summer night. If I ever pull through with this novel idea of mine, I am hoping to fit it into a YA category. Is there a rule about sex talk in such novels? Is this a stupid question? Of course I read Twilight but, does it make sense having a chapter leading to her birth?

I am planning on really developing a life story for Unique. There will be random chapters that will be diary entries. Ideally these chapters will be handwritten as if a scan of a diary is directly inserted between certain chapters. But I stalled today wondering if my idea is any good at all.

The entire story starts with the end – when she dies. Then I walk the readers through her life. In the end, it will appear extraordinary not for what she did, but for who she was. I would love to know your thoughts on my intended process.

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18 thoughts on “Unique: A (bow-chika-wow-wow) Conception”

  1. I remember (just a few short weeks ago) loving the opening and wanting to know more.
    I don’t know what the guidelines are for what can be said in YA, but so far it sounds like a very loving family!

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    1. Yeah. It is in fact a loving family… Just a simple all-american type of family. She’ll be more often ignored though, most likely because she will always put others first.

      Thanks for reading Guap!

      Like

  2. This story is phenomenal, readable and interesting.

    I think for YA fiction that the chapter about her conception is just right. There is sex on YA novels just like there is sex in YA lives.

    I truly like Unique and the more you write her the more invested I get the more I want to know who she is.. Why she is.

    I really enjoyed this installment, the tender foreplay the teasing, the love.. There from the start.

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    1. There is sex in YA lives?

      Ha! 😉

      I’m having such fun creating this character who is largely based on my nieces, and the person I always wished I had been. Although the premisse is a regular girl, I want her to be … unique. An extraordinary person who lives a regular life…

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      1. Well the memories are hazy, but yes, I think there was….;)

        unique is wonderful, she truly is. I believe you are like her…an extraordinary person, living a very UNIQUE life.

        xo

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  3. ha. i like their code words…um, hmm…i know if i was the character, i would not want to hear about my conception…hahaha….it is a fun chapter though…smiles.

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  4. I like reading about Unique and nothing wrong with writing a chapter about how she how she came about…………………self doubt should be taken out and shot……………………

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    1. then i would be taking myself out quite a lot… 😉 i agree with you but old habits die hard. right now i’m writing about her first love (crush) and i’m not sure how or where i want to take it. does she die before ever getting a first kiss? wouldn’t that be a shame?

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  5. in your second paragraph, there are some short sentences and some short incomplete sentences. but i’m not complaining. although most of it is grammatically incorrect, it is still a very popular style of writing. shorter and/or incomplete sentences tend to stand out more. so i’m not saying you need to change anything. i’m mentioning it because it is not my style, i like things grammatically correct – but you certainly don’t need to care about my style because you have to write how you “feel” is best. if it’s part of your “voice,” then you stick with it.

    “Barely walking and still shaky on his feet he ran after them.”

    comma after “feet”
    ___

    “…pointed his finger and ordered “No laugh Mommy….”

    comma after “finger” and “ordered”
    ______________

    “…he opened his hands towards him and the butterfly flew away ”

    “and” should be “but” because the opposite happened of what they wanted to happen.
    ____________

    “Rodge joined Blanche ” should be Rodger?
    ___________

    “She picked up the blanket, the wine bottle and the glasses …” what’s your view on the “serial comma”? i think it’s essential, but it seems like many find it optional. if you use serial commas, then you need one after “bottle.”

    _______________

    ” “My wine! Stop it, you’ll make me spill!” Roger half kissed her, half bit her neck. Positioned like this she could feel him. “Knock-knock,” he said. “Coming!” she answered.”

    in here, you have dialogue going back and forth between rodger and blanche. each switch should start it’s own paragraph. more like this:

    “My wine! Stop it, yoiu’ll make me spill!” Rodger half kissed her, half bit her neck. Positioned like this, she could feel him.

    “Knock-knock,” he said.

    “Coming!” she answered.
    _________________

    “She grabbed them and he pulled her up and held her tight.”

    again, style. should be comma after “them” no “and” and comma after “up.” but for style, your way creates a faster pace, like the motion in which it might happen. all up to you.

    __________________

    “He winced every time and she loved it.”

    comma after “time.” the pause sets up the opposition of her loving it.

    ______________

    ” If she could already speak she would say: “Coming!”

    comma after “speak”

    __________________

    the way you presented the sex, it’s fine for YA. i’m not a Ya reader, but i’m enjoying it. regardless of how it gets categorized, just keep going. it’s fun.

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    1. THANKS! Just when I thought I was starting to think I had the comma thing figured out… 😉

      I find certain rules need to be broken. I love the Oxford comma (isn’t that when it comes after a ‘and’? I’ve applied the majority of your edits, but some I left out. I need your opinion on one of them “he opened his hands towards him and the butterfly flew away” I understand the difference between the need for a but over an and. Here Roger winked at Blanche letting her know he knew the butterfly was going to flutter away. But Timmy didn’t know this. In this instance, shouldn’t it remain ‘and’? Or does the narration need an extra little bit (something like: Just as Roger suspected)

      His name is Roger. But Blanche calls him Rodge. I guess the shortened name should be Roge? Or is it correct to assume the spelling changes in a shortened version, like Cissy is really Cecilia but she likes to be called Cissy.

      This is great help. Thanks so much, I know you’re busy with your own conception (ha! see what i just did there? i be so funny sometimes)

      Like

      1. as for the butterfly flying away, you’re right, and i missed that part.

        as for “rodge,” it wasn’t the spelling as much as the more casual way to say it. if it’s dialogue, then that’s okay. but if it’s used with his quote, like – rodger said, “knock knock.” then it always has to be rodger. but she can call him “rodge” when she talks to him and says, “rodge, bring me a glass of wine.” then it’s fine to have rodge. it’s an awkward name to work with because of the different spellings and forms.

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        1. roger that! will consider a name change… or at least keep it to roger for narration. after all, the narrator does not know him like blanche does.

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  6. This was a very playful scene, I like the comfortable exchanges between Blanche and Roger.

    The only thing I’d nitpick is the nine months gestation, and only because once I figured out it was a myth, it made me mad. A full-term pregnancy is actually 40 weeks… 10 months. I know because both of mine lasted the whole time. Not enough of a problem to warrant changing it, I just wanted to rant.

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    1. Oh that’s cool! I’ll change it thanks. I had no idea! It’s ok, we’re in the safe to honestly feedback zone! I want honesty above all else!

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  7. I like your idea, and your start. No clue about the sex in YA, but if it’s anything like the real life of YA’s, what you have here is probably totally fine.

    I have a similar approach brewing with mine, but I don’t want to end up rewriting the movie “Big Fish,” so I have to be careful. Bottom line is that everyone has a story, and Unique’s seems to be ready to roll, so let her write it, and see what happens.

    Like

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