It’ll be a Cold Day in… Paradise

My world wind trip to join the racing crew was shortened by a job interview in San Diego. I flew home to California the night before the meeting with my hopefully future employer. I woke up early enough to crawl through the bush to my trailer (stored at my friends’ where I was temporarily staying).

  • The three numbers to the combo lock popped in my head as soon as I woke up. I took it as a sign.
  • I opened the trailer door, was immediately faced with a crate titled “MARIE’S CLOTHES” I opened it, on the top was a dress perfect for meeting my future boss. The last time I wore it was for my dad’s funeral, because I performed a stellar eulogy wearing that dress I felt it carried good karma. I took it as a sign.
  • I rummaged elsewhere for shoes, couldn’t find any that would go with the cute little black dress. Found my black blazer that topped off the dress instead. I took it as a sign.
  • On my way downtown, I stopped at Target, and rushed to the shoe section. Women’s shoes were either ballet flats, or so high I would need a ladder to climb into them. I took a gamble and walked through the kids’ section, and found the perfect wedge sandals matching my outfit. I took it as a sign.
  • She said I could try my luck with street parking, if not then to pay the high priced ACE parking. Just as I made my way around I found a spot on the street immediately in front of the door. I took it as a sign.
  • The parking was paid via machine, credit cards accepted. The machine in front of my spot was broken, the nearest one was one street down. I chose to ignore that sign.

The job interview went remarkably well, so well that I started scouring Craigslist for a room to rent in the posh little district of Little Italy. She said she had another week’s worth of interviews, but that I should know within a week. Or so. You know how it goes.

During that week of waiting I worked my butt off for the San Diego IndieFest. It was amazing.

Sidenote: My heart truly belongs in a festival. The music, the art, the people, the weirdos, the happy noise – it fills me, tickles me, satiates me, and every other amazing quality or adjective or verb or adverb or whatever it is that I’m listing, it does it to me. And for me. Sigh.

Sadly the people did not come out and fill the fenced-in grass area. But that’s for another story.

One full week and two days after my interview – I was still without any news on the job. The writing was on the wall, but I hate reading walls. The courage failed me to call her, so I emailed her. Her reply was short. The hiring process was under review, the creation of the new job was also under review. They may, or may not reopen the position in a few months. I was more than welcomed to try again, if and when it re-opened.

My heart was shattered. This sad news joined another even more heartbreaking bit of news in the same day. It was too much to handle, so I went to the beach.

I wrote about my short excursion at the beach. It healed my heart. It healed my everything that needed healing. Except for my bank account. It’s still bleeding. Leo suggested we return to the boat, and the heat. He promised me an air conditioner.

He followed through with that promise, and now I sleep with a blanket and nights filled with dreams thanks to that delicious level of REM sleep.

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27 thoughts on “It’ll be a Cold Day in… Paradise”

  1. Gah! Sorry you didn’t get the job, glad you got teh air conditioner.
    Plus, not too bad if you have a beach to console yourself on…

    Any other positions around for you?

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    1. The only positions are sitting at my laptop or the many different ones I’m willing to attempt on my paddle board. It’s ok. I get to spend more time with my novel writing away. It’ll come, just not now.

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  2. I’m torn…do I “like” this post or just put a frowny face that after all the “signs” you didn’t get the job? 😦

    Well written, despite the tense confusion and so sorry you didn’t get the job. There is ample absence of evidence to substantiate that “everything happens for a reason”. Perhaps in this case I’ll just say…you’re meant to be where you are right now. And congratulations on the air conditioner!

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  3. I had a bit of a similar situation, but virtually. I applied for a job, made the first cut & then responded with a shit ton of requested follow-up info. A week later, I emailed her (we had some nice back & forth emails in between & I felt really confident about the job & was super excited b/c it would have meant I could quit my day job) & she said she decided not to hire anymore. Sorry you didn’t get the damn job. Is it appropriate to say that something better is on the way? That’s what I keep telling myself anyway…

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    1. I decided to just throw myself back into my book writing. So yes, it’s totally ok to say something better is on the way. The novel is written, and now am in some re-writes and some add-ons. So yes, it’s all good and zen and shit, right? I know it will re-open, and I’ll be even more ready for it!

      Thanks for the visit!

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  4. This is the way with the job search. All of the signs were accurate and inspiring and gave positive karma. Don’t give up ! Be stronger and please continue the positive vibe? Some of us need it tooooo !

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  5. Not to worry, something better is in the works. Who knows what kind of stepping stone was this adventure good for? I just did a look back for my last months where I have kissed the unknown. Basically day by day. Most people would freak out living like that. You have at least a boat and a man. I have only me. With all that chaos I have come back to ME – the magic, the meetings, the creativity, new products and new business possibilities. All of that would have not happened if the circumstances would have been different. All in all I start to see the divine order in it. Keep my track on my targets and just know that the steps I take when done with embracing love for life works magic winds to my human angel wings. So open up yours, and lets have some playtime together to celebrate the next chapter;)

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    1. I am blessed with an abundance of love in my life, had I been without Leonard it would be so much harder… How have you been my little Chicita? 😉

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  6. I am glad I am not the only person who at times looks in the girls section for shoes, as those shoes are often the right height for me………..it is a lovely winters day here again.

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  7. It’s truly their loss, Marie! That cliche probably doesn’t make you feel any better, but consider the circumstances to be another sign. Even thought it’s hard to accept at the time, I think everything we go through prepares us for the next step. I’m not into that whole “it wasn’t meant to be thing,” but you’ll move on to something else. And maybe it WILL be better.

    You are stronger than you know. Keep on, woman!

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    1. This fucking job thing. It’s a killer. I just can’t for the life of me figure out what the hell I am doing wrong! It’s really insane, I’m trying to not let it get to me, but little by little it does. So instead, I try to not think about it, ride my board, write my stories, and love my husband. What else can a woman do, right?

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      1. You are right! I have a friend (also totally qualified) going through the same thing who beats herself up about it. It seems like the luck of the draw. Sometimes they already have somebody picked for the job and go through the motions of interviewing, but I’m amazed there is so little personal touch in the search process now. You wouldn’t have know what happened if you didn’t call. It sucks!

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  8. Sorry you didn’t get the job 😦 I totally do the signs thing too. I don’t want to sound like a cliche, but something will come up eventually. The job market is shit right now and it’s just a case of keeping on going even when you’ve had it up to your eyeballs with applying for jobs. It’s also a small consolation that they are re-considering the whole position, rather than you not getting it because of something you did. Your interview was probably amazing but they can’t take anyone on right now. Although, I think it’s bullshit when they do stuff like that. Decide before you advertise, dummies. Good luck with the search, I’ll keep my fingers crossed!

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    1. Thanks. And I really do believe in the whole timing thing. My time right now is better served enjoying the boat life in Mexico. I am surrounded by really inspiring women here. They are all in their 60s, riding the paddle board daily, doing yoga, laughing and just enjoying everything! It’s really cool… So yeah, so what if I’m spending my retirement savings, maybe when I’m 60 and out of money I can be a Walmart greeter! (Gosh, scary thought)

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  9. I’m very bummed for you. I can’t tell you how many of those waits, and the eventual “oh, that? yeah, we filled that ages ago and didn’t tell you” scenarios I’ve been through. And whatever the other heartbreaking news was, I’m bummed about that, too. Just know that it’s not you; it’s them. And enjoy that A/C and your Unique labor of love, and just keep your eyes peeled for the next open door. (“eyes peeled?” What the hell? Who PEELS EYES? Gross.)

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  10. I guess it wasn’t a complete loss, you got new shoes.
    My husband has been through all that, he had two interviews, a walk around the factory (involving a trip to the country) and then the exact same thing “reviewing the position”
    It sucks and I am so sorry it had to happen to you.

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