We’ll Always Have Mexico

Dear Parasite,

You’ve been with me for so long now, I don’t know if I should give you a name. Are you alone, or did you bring your family with you?

You know everything about me, yet I know nothing about you. You know me inside and out. You know the smell of me… You know what I crave and hunger for. Yet, you never let me enjoy it. Is that how it’s going to be? Is this the kind of relationship you want for us?

Don’t get me wrong, you did help me lose some of that unwanted body fat around my waist. And I totally appreciate your efforts in making this a 2-way relationship. But, you just don’t do it for me anymore. It’s not you, it’s me. I think I’ve found something else I want in my stomach. Please don’t be mad at me. It was fun while it lasted. At least we’ll always have Mexico.

I know you’ll find something, or someone else in no time. You’ll bounce back in no time. I know you can’t stay away from us. Keep your chin up, it’s time to face the world on your own.



p.s. I’ve gone ahead and changed the locks, no need to leave your keys.


22 thoughts on “We’ll Always Have Mexico”

  1. Oh, yes, throw out that horrible bugger. Hoping this means you are feeling a little better. (always fun to be “one stomach virus from our goal weight”) but enough is enough.



    1. I think he has the keys to your apartment. At least I didn’t give him the password to your Twitter account though (but I’d change my bank NIP if I were you, just in case)


  2. In Germany, we have a proverb: expel everything that isn’t paying the rent. Usually we say that after we’ve had too much to drink, or when we are ill, but it works for all unwanted substances and subjects


    1. The odd thing is I’ve felt like I had too much to drink. This is like a never ending hangover. To expel everything that doesn’t pay the rent is a wonderful proverb!


    1. Oh, that was the final fax. I’m preparing an eviction notice as we speak. 🙂 And it’s a him. Trust me, women tend to know when they’re unwanted and leave…


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