Facing an Obstacle: Do you Turn it into an Ordeal or an Adventure?

Taken on Halloween NIGHT.

Recently, with friends, we headed out to celebrate el dia de los muertos. The day of the dead. Day. Keyword. I’d been anticipating this day all year, I was so looking forward to witnessing this event in an old cemetery. I’d seen pictures, the celebration looked remarkable.

There is no cemetery in the little town where I’m located. There is, however, one close enough. This one friend and I had planned on visiting it on this day. This famous day… She told me about a week prior that another good friend wanted to join us. Basically, we were to head out at sunset. “We need to get there way before the sun sets,” I told them “Otherwise, I’ll never get good pictures.”

“Don’t worry,” they told me “If we leave by 7pm, there will be plenty of sunlight hours left.”

My friend's los muertos mask
My friend’s los muertos mask

This is where I could kick myself. I could have checked it out, searched it on Dr Google. But no, I didn’t rock the boat on my friends’ plans, and simply agreed. Here’s how it was set out in a nutshell: we were to leave the marina at 10 to 7, pick up our friend at her house, and head out to the cemetery. Easy enough – what could go wrong?

Once at our friend’s house, she tells us we must swing by the marina (what?) to meet up with her friends. So we backtrack to the marina, and off she runs to get them. She couldn’t call them, they don’t have a phone. They return, and ask if we want to follow them, or if they should follow us. “Let’s follow them,” I say. Boom. Taking the lead from the passenger seat.

We head out, and drive by the cemetery. “Don’t worry, we have to go beyond it, and make a u-turn,” my friend who is driving tells me. Two lights later, I turn around and ask our planner what’s going on. Meanwhile, the lead car is still zig-zagging through traffic.

“We’re going to the cemetery in Puerto Vallarta,” she says. Of course! Why go to the closest one, 10 minutes away, when we can drive for one hour?

The friend who is driving and I both paused, and stared at each other, long enough to nearly lose track of her driving. We shared a moment. One where each of us is having the same thought, and it went something like this “What the fuck?” But we didn’t share that thought out loud, so I can’t really speak for her. I believe I was mad. I believe I was kind of pissed off, and felt like a kid who’s parent say “Sorry kiddo, there is no Christmas this year.” But maybe I’m being a tad bit dramatic. Or not. I mean, remember when I told you about four hundred words ago that I’d been looking forward to this day for a whole year?

So yes. I was livid. Being the kind of people pleasing person that I am, I nod in agreement to everybody else in the car “Yay, let’s go into town!” as I look at my camera wondering why I thought it was a good idea to bring it with me. Finally, after a few u-turns and detours, we make it to the cemetery. And face a locked gate. Remember when I said the keyword was DAY? We (USA and Canada) celebrate Halloween NIGHT, but in Mexico they must celebrate the DAY of the dead. How clear is that?

“Let’s just go hangout on the Malecon!” everybody says. And you know what? It was a wonderful evening, celebrating the living on the busy boardwalk.

To be continued…   Coming up next, we discuss about how much I’ve changed in the recent years, and question about how or why it happened. We also wonder if I’ll ever stop being such a people pleaser.

S30PBadge (1)This week’s prompt at the Studio is PLEASE.


21 thoughts on “Facing an Obstacle: Do you Turn it into an Ordeal or an Adventure?”

    1. Right? I try to be sociable, but sometimes I must admit that I am just a Shrek. Minus the size, the green skin and all that ear wax…


    2. I am just the same, I was bullied at school and by male relatives so I stayed away from people and used to pack all my camping gear on Friday after School and then say bye bye to the world for 48 hours it was bliss. I am now 50 and I am just the same, I love my own company, but I cannot wait for my wife to come home from work at 5.30pm….. Nothing wrong in being a loner 🙂


  1. My friend’s daughter does Ballet Folklorico, and they performed at a cemetery last weekend. I didn’t know ahead of time, and I’m bummed I didn’t get to go take photos. The dancers had their faces painted and they looked amazing.


  2. Bummer, Marie! I’m glad you had a good time, though. I would love to see a Dia de los Muertos celebration. The only one I’ve seen is that scene in “Frida.”


    1. Oh Cathy, I knew you’d understand where I was coming from 😉

      (Frida, what a great movie. Have you read “The Lacuna”? It’s a Barbara Kingsolver book based largely on Frida’s life)


  3. Sometimes it doesn’t pay to just “go with the flow,” does it? Funny, with age comes the realization of what you want out of life. I don’t find it selfish to know that. You simply know what you want (or want to do). Unfortunately, we have to learn these lessons the hard way in order to do things differently the next time. There’s a time to go with a group and a time to go it alone. Good luck getting the cool pix next time!


    1. The problem with me Katy, and what most people who claim to know me better than I know myself, is that I never learn… Sorry, I take that back, I need to repeat lessons many times before I learn.


  4. I’m with you. I’d have been very angry too.
    I’ve gotten to the age where if it’s something I really want to do and someone is fucking it up, I’ll explain it. Once.
    Then ditch them. Happily.


  5. Woody Allen said – If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans. Quite few other people finely tuned to life’s sense of humour have said something similar. Be it God or whatever you believe, nothing makes the universe throw a spoke in the wheel as quickly as having plans.

    This post is brilliant! I love the way you let it all hang out and enjoy it with an equal amount of laid back and being pissed off! You are awesome, keep being you and doing things your way even when pleasing others… it always leads somewhere surprising!


    1. Oh, this retrograding mercury has me so frazzled! Haha. I love your Woody Allen quote, how brilliant. Thank you for your wonderful words of kindness ❤


  6. I am a people pleaser too. I would have been right beside you steaming but not wanting to upset anybody.
    Fingers crossed you can get the chance to experience it next year


  7. it would be understandable if someone were to call you “dramatic” for your reaction. however, nobody can tell us how important anything might or might not be to any individual. if i want to freak out because a fly landed in my mac n cheese, then dag nabbit i have a right to fling fuckwads over it. and everyone else has the right to no longer be my friend because they might not like flung fuckwads.


      1. meaning that someone called you dramatic, suggesting you overreacted. i’m saying that nobody has a right to tell you what you value, so you have a right to react how you see fit for the moment. it’s your moment, not their moment.


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