I shared this image this morning on Facebook (Facebook – Your #1 source for daily information!) from Less is More. With it I wrote “I’m thinking the turtle is a female.” And then a friend (who happens to share the same birthday) replied with “Why? Are you saying men don’t do things for love?! C’mon.”
Does that mean the porcupine is forcibly a male? Of course not, she can be just as a female as the turtle is. Or maybe the turtle is a cross-gender. That may be the more obvious choice, she is changing herself, or re-becoming herself, or allowing herself to truly be who she is. Why should I assume she is changing for the love of her life, maybe she really is what she is?
ASSUMPTIONS
When I see two people enjoying themselves with a glass of wine huddled in the corner of a restaurant, what automatically runs through my head? What does it mean of me if my assumptions are wrong? Recently a friend told me how this woman we both know has gotten divorced and is now dating another woman we know. So when she told me this, I replied how I never saw this coming in a double kind of way. That in my mind she was in such a happy marriage, and if she had decided to switch camp I would have thought it would have been for this other chick we know. “But she’s not a lesbian” said my friend. Well, neither were the other two initially so that comment was totally uncalled for!
BREAKING OUT
We are so brainwashed into our man + woman belief system it becomes confusing and often times delicate to adapt to all that life throws our way.
To my friends who came out of the closet (were they even in a closet to begin with?) how do I adequately react with them now? Is congratulations in order? Is there a Hallmark card out there for the newly divorced who’s recently switched ball teams and is now in love with another friend? I’m exhausted and dizzy just from putting it into words! And if I do say “Hey I heard about you two… and I’m really happy for you!” is this like a confirmation that gossip was involved? But it wasn’t gossip, not in my mind at least.
Why do I suddenly feel like Ruth in Six Feet Under? I don’t dress like her, I’m not a mother, I don’t live in a funeral home, I’m not her. I can’t be her!
Time for coffee…
my cyber house rules 
I’d go with just being happy for them.
it’s hard to shake free of the stereotypes we were raised with and had reinforced most of our lives.
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Why don’t I just email you daily with all my worries and concerns? It would save such stress, and I would sleep better! 🙂
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Because you once stuck a banana in your ear.
Oh, and called me a gorilla.
Hmph.
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But it was all done admiringly… didn’t you know?
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I’m sorry, I can’t hear you, there’s a banana in my ear.
What?
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I was talking to you with sign language, maybe that banana shifted to your eyes?
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It squooshed out of its skin.
Don’t judge.
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Don’t slip on that peel.
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It’s hard to know what the right thing to do is anymore.
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I’ll go with my canned solution for everything: Always come from a place of love. (Is that becoming tiresome? How can LOVE be tiresome?). Non-seriously: As long as you had loving thoughts about the cartoon hedgehogs what does it matter? (ah, what kind of thoughts? some may wonder thoughts of bestiality? while others picture having a pet hedgehog, and another messy-haired viewer might recall seeing a dead one on the side of an English country road and now will never use a hairbrush. It seems, to some, to be interesting to challenge interpretations, (from the bible to Harry Potter) so this would be no different. And I imagine that challenge to question the gender of the characters harboured no harm. Contrast creates change, therefore challenges on simple animation could possibly have a ripple effect: if you so choose. I wonder if the cartoonist wishes now they’d put names under the animals? Still, Taylor, River, or Jamie would still have netted the same conversation!
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Ha! And this is why I think you are wonderful!
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Sometimes social justice goes so far beyond inclusion and into shaming people for not having the perfect reaction to every situation life throws at you. I figure, do or say whatever comes to mind, and if it’s in the right spirit you’re good to go. Plus, if people are cool and feel bothered by anything, they’ll just tell you.
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People can’t help but make assumptions about things, it’s the way society trains us to be. Even the most socially aware, reflexive people make assumptions! I’d go with just being happy for them without trying to understand what’s going on sexuality wise 🙂
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I think everybody who has come before me has pretty much covered my thoughts.
Love is what is important. Perhaps we might choose to change a little for our partner and I dont think that is always a bad thing.
As for assumptions, we all make them…
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