Whether you’re running a million dollar operation with a slick and flashy website or you’re just a closet blogger like me: you want success. We are hungry for hits and visibility. Mostly everything we do in life is done in the hopes of being successful. How you define success is your own thing. Money. Prestige. Popularity. Awards. Friends. Better chocolate. It’s your success so you define its standards. Yay you!


Who the heck does this?
Who the heck does this?

Google PageRank is one of today’s biggest measuring tool.

1 is lowest and 10 is rad’est. If Facebook and Google have a score of 9 (Ha! the losers), can you imagine what it would take to climb to a rating of 10? *Shudder* To the left is a simple table illustrating how a rank is calculated. Unless Good Will Hunting was inspired on your life, you crazy brainiac, you may not understand what that mumbo jumbo is all about. If you do understand it then please shut up, nobody wants to hear it! Besides, most people will tell you that nobody really knows how the rank is calculated.

What matters to us is how to you find out what your rank is. If you use Google Chrome you can download a nifty toolbar gadget here. This will give you valuable information on your site, and any other site you visit providing you with both your Google rank and your Alexa score. More to come on Alexa the mysterious pms’d ranking system… What does your PageRank mean?


Google Reveals Itself
Show Us Your Tips Google!

They say a whole lot of stuff on improving your rank. You need visitors and hits… They go and on about links to your site as well, and your site providing links to other sites. They talk a lot, trust me, oh they talk a good game. So how do you go about in getting your site linked on other sites? You beg them? Sure, why not. But, keep in mind they also say that ideally you want your site linked onto sites with a good rank. The better the rank, the better you improve your own ranking. Easy? Can be.

Start with a widget on your site that others can grab automatically linking back to you. More often than not all that is needed is a “Hey, I’m linking yours, can you link mine?” message to your friendly blogger.

Where else can you create links? This is so easy – it’s stupid easy. Below is a list of websites where you can create a user account including a link to your site. Check this out:


You see where I’m going with this. It’s not rocket science. Make your own magic happen. Talking about magic… I found this trick out by installing my toolbar thing, when I clicked on it (my Google PageRank) it gave me a brief overview (at the time there were 149 sites linking to mine, but I only had access to 3 of them) of the sites. was one of them. I had an ah-ha moment.


I still want to pronounce it “see-oh” rather than spell it out. I know. I’m lame. Download your FREE Google Webmaster Search Engine Optimization Guide here.

Use titles to your posts that grab attention. Be catchy, but not deceitful. (Yes, I’m looking at you Sean Smithson *snicker*) If the title to your article reads “Giving Away $1 Million Dollars For The Cutest Kitten Picture” and then the lead into your article tells the readers about how proud you are at getting their attention, but there are no giveaways, actually you don’t even like cute kittens wrapped in toilet paper they’ll be so pissed off at you that they’ll drop troll bombs all over your face! And then throw their cute kittens into your house so they can scratch the crap out of your new chesterfield. Chesterfield? Yes, I so did use that word.


Keywords – Tags. Tomayto – Tomahto… WordPress and why-do-people-still-use-this-platform->Blogger do all the work for you to help your content get found by Google and its web crawlers.

Before I continue, I know there are other search engines out there, but let’s be honest: have you ever heard anybody say something like “Just bing it!” No. How many times per day do you hear “I was googling and found this.” Yesteryear was Yahoo. Today is Google. Who knows what tomorrow may bing!TM Hey Mr Bing CEO, if you use that you owe me $.

Back to tagging – which is best used in moderation. It’s like beer. I’m a cheap date – 3 beers are usually my limit. But I know the average drinker, on a party, can easily handle 5 beers. So that is my maximum tag count to use per article or post. Three is my minimum on account of my cheap datedness. Too much and google just won’t know what your primary focus is and will end up ignoring you, like a child who enters a toy store and asks for every single toy (greedy childhood flashback) and ends up with nothing. Or the crapiest of toys simply because it was on the never-ending list. Be specific.

What’s YOUR secret to improving your rank?

Next up: ALEXA.

This is part of my new series called “Marie’s Tips“. I could have called this series “What I just learned 5 minutes ago and wanted to make you feel stupid for not knowing this already.” but it didn’t have the eye-catching appeal and sexual innuendo you feel when you hear about Marie’s Tips because it sounds like Marie’s- [oh-my-god you almost made me say it out loud which is horrendous because this series is all about me being all pro and shit!] Shame on you.



  1. I just got my results from the PEEK site you posted the other day.
    Apparently, there’s too much going on in my sidebars, and she wasn’t interested in my articles.
    (It’s quite possible as she scrolled past the mankini pic five times, she was turned off.)
    (Oh, and I need to redo my About page too.)


        1. That is just hilarious! 😀 I was laughing when I was looking at mine because he kept saying over and over “but what is this site about?” and it took him forever to click on “ABOUT” but it’s insightful to know what people are thinking when they are looking at it, especially that the location of the cursor is a good indication of where their eyes are at… Glad you tried it out btw!


    1. Whoa there! Easy does it on the threats. YOU’RE our leader. YOU! Haha! I enjoyed your guest post about why you write… I felt a kinship! Or would that be a ‘pen’ship?


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