Unfaithfully Yours: A Novel by Chrystal Rose

Unfaithfully Yours: Book CoverMeet Chrystal Rose, the Author.

Chrystal is the COO and one of the badass geniuses behind The Indie Chicks.

This book is her life story – and its focus is pretty obvious: her sexcapades.

If Sex in the City had a 5th bestie with a sailor’s mouth – it would be Chrystal. And this is why I love her without ever having met her.

Or better yet, take it from the words of one of her friends:

«You’re fucking fun as shit and real as fuck.»
—Star, Unfaithfully Yours.

Her Childhood

Young Chrystal RoseDon’t let the ribbons and curls fool you – this child was all tomboy! Tomboy in a little miniature Jackass personality kind of way. Poor little Chrystal was tied to sleds, thrown out of trees and forced to catch snakes. She’d do anything to hang out with her big brother!

Chrystal grew up in a divorced home, bounced from mom to dad, and was pretty much raised by a near prison-like boarding school.

«I was woken up at 4am on a Friday morning and escorted to a therapeutic boarding school.»

Rose does not dwell too much on the past, the book promises stories of a “cheating bitch”, and she delivers on the goods. Yet a glimpse into her past certainly helps connect the dots. Her life story should hit the big screens – talk about a roller coaster ride!

 A How-To Guide of Sorts

The cool thing about her novel is how she often breaks into a handbook about life. Rose provides tips from how to deliver the best blowjob, to steps in finding Mr. Right (and how it starts with getting rid of Mr. Wrong).

In terms of blowjobs, once she figured it out she had nothing but a total sense of pride in the quality of her work resulting from a self-taught skill.

«And when he came I swallowed it, wiped my mouth
and sat up with a huge grin on my face. If I could have high-fived myself I definitely would have.»

What do you say to that? “Way to go there Miss Queen of the Blowjobs.” It’s hard not to picture her, I’m guessing a near sloppy back-handed wipe of the mouth worthy of a pleased look-at-me-child.

Play By Play Analysis

Chrystal is a sports fan. She watches football – willingly. She’s the chick who’ll call a bunch of buds, and get a crowd together to watch a game. They’ll  hammer down shots of Jack Daniels as they cheer and argue.  She’s truly one of the guys…

She also analyses sex in the same way. Take for example a threesome. Rose has an entire section where she gives roles to each “player” involved. Reading this part is the same as watching a post match or after game replay.

Her opinion?

«As a female there are a few things to consider: The ideal role is “The Guest Star”. As a guest star you are invited into the bedroom of another couple (or ex-couple) and can bail when the harsh light of day arrives along with the aftermath.»

Doesn’t this sound oddly similar to a sportscast? The “guest star” is far better than the “insider”. Broken glass and broken hearts are the result of being the insider in a threesome.

How to Read This?

chrystal rose - one of the guysGrab a bottle of wine or Jack Daniels if you’ve got the stomach for it, curl up on your couch, and abandon yourself, just get lost in the story.

Pretend she’s actually there with you. You’ll even hear her yelling “Hell no!” so many times, you’ll feel the flecks of spit flying your way. She writes, I assume, in the exact same way that she talks: openly, with animation and loaded with pure raw emotion.

Throw your judgment out the door, and just enjoy the ride!

…………………………………………………………
indiechick litThis post is part of the IndieChickLit Book Tour.  Click here to purchase your own signed copy of Unfaithfully Yours! Listen to her interview here.

Want more Chrystal? Find her here:
Amazon
Goodreads
Twitter

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6 thoughts on “Unfaithfully Yours: A Novel by Chrystal Rose”

  1. I wish more book reviews were like this! I love the way you break things out and you really made me want to read the book. I added it to my TBR list on Goodreads because I’m not allowing myself to buy any more books until I’ve caught up on the backlog of books I promised other people I’d read!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This is the first time I write a book review, that’s probably why it was so different than most reviews out there! Also, since it’s pretty much an autobiography, oddly enough I could not separate the novel from the writer – it was like writing up a personal review on a person I don’t even know. It was weird, yet wow – I loved it!

      Thanks for your kind words… I totally appreciate your feedback!

      Like

    1. She’s the kind of chick every man dreams of having, but not any man is actually man enough to take her. Does that make sense? She’s fuckin’ dynamite, that’s for sure…

      Like

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