A Call to my ObamaCare Team

This is a one-act play. The Me part is played by me. The OCT part is played by the ObamaCare Technician on the other end of the 1-800 call. The mood is actually playful, I like to laugh as an anger prevention tool. It’s very effective.

Me: I got a call from an 866 number asking me to pay my bill.
Me: Thing is, that number is not listed on your website, and I never got anything from you, so I’d like to know what I’m paying.
OCT: What your ID number?
Me: You mean the one I punched in to talk to you?
OCT: Yes mam, I need it to access your file.
Me: blah blah blah [I give him my #]
OCT: Thank you mam.
Me: So how much do I need to pay? Last time I called you guys, about a month ago, I was told I’d get a package in the mail soon, but I haven’t received anything yet.
OCT: Just look at your acceptance letter we sent you, the amount should be in there.
Me: I haven’t received an acceptance letter.
OCT: OK, no problem, the reason why is because you haven’t paid yet.
Me: Ooooohhh kayyyy. How much do I owe you?
OCT: Isn’t it in your package we sent you?
Me: [I look at my phone] Haven’t I told you yet? I haven’t received anything. As in nothing.
OCT: What about your acceptance letter?
Me: Nothing.
OCT: An invoice?
Me: Nothing.
OCT: Let me look into that mam.
[He puts me on hold.]
OCT: I need you to verify your ID # for me.
Me: The one I punched in my phone and gave to you 5 minutes ago? Sure blah blah blah.
OCT: Thank you mam, I’ll be right back.
[He puts me on hold again.]
OCT: Mam, they say you haven’t received anything yet because you must activate your account.
Me: Isn’t that what I did when I called you a month ago, and that’s how I got my ID#? What else do I need to do to activate my account?
OCT: Activate?
Me: What?
OCT: Mam?
Me: [Deep sigh] You said I haven’t received anything because my account hasn’t been activated yet. How do I activate my account?
OCT: [Mumbles like a MTV hiphop Veejay]
Me: Is this a joke?
OCT: Mam?
Me: You’ve got to be kidding me right?
OCT: How else can I help you?
Me: What?
OCT: Have a nice day mam!
Me: But we’re not done! I’ve already incured medical expenses last week because I haven’t received my health card yet!
OCT: You haven’t received your card?
Me: No. That was part of the nothing I’ve received from you.
OCT: Let me look into this mam. Can you confirm your last 4 digits for me?
Me: Do you go through this with everybody?
OCT: No mam.
Me: So I’m special then? blah blah blah [I give him my digits.]
OCT: Thank you mam.
[Again I am placed on hold as I stare at my phone wondering if this is a reverse prank call.]
OCT: Thank you for waiting mam. We’re sorry about your expenses, you should receive a package from us within 5 to 10 business days. Maybe more.
Me: That’s what the guy said the last time, and look where it brought me?
OCT: When did your coverage become active?
Me: May 1.
OCT: And you haven’t received anything yet?
Me: Funny you should ask.
OCT: Mam?
Me: Thank you, I think you’ve helped me enough.
OCT: Oh and you will get refunded for your medical expenses.
Me: Right. Thank you!

PHOTO CREDIT: Wikimedia Commons U.S. National Archives and Records Administration


18 thoughts on “A Call to my ObamaCare Team”

  1. My doctor’s receptionist once told me that I have to give 48 hours notice before I had an allergic reaction so I can get my medication. I politely pointed out that, if I had 48 hours notice, I probably wouldn’t have the reaction in the first place and, if I wait 48 hours, I’ll probably have blood poisoning, anaphylaxis or be dead. I still don’t think she understood the stupidity of what she’d said 🙂


  2. Funny I read this at the exact moment I am about to go ballistic on our ACA insurance provider. They claim a 3 he long ER stay cost $11,000. When I add up the charges given it comes to $3040. I’m not paying the $1300 they want from us bc of the “balance.” I could go on for hours on the fact NO ONE TAKES THE ACA POLICIES AROUND HERE or we had to skip the two hospitals in our town, 4 in 20 minutes of our house and drive an hour to hospital on the plan. OMG.


      1. Well now we’re all kinds of FUBAR. Our communication was via written word (typed word?) so that’s why you couldn’t hear me.


  3. Ok this is worse when you get someone who speaks with a heavy accent and you can’t understand a bloody word they say and have to repeat yourself or ask them to repeat themselves over and over again.


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