As I sit in my nearly empty room, with nothing much left to pack but my clothes, some toiletry items and my desk stuff, I can’t help but feel overwhelmed by a sudden wave of nostalgia.
It is time I move on. Renting a room in a house full of people was a phase that served its purpose – it carried me through my divorce and a heavy period of change.
It’s now time to shift into the next phase, the one where I just start living my life rather than navigating the uncertain waters of a transition. Another one.
I also can’t help but think of my first major life gateway: when I moved out of my family home to go live alone with my dad. That was a major one, and probably the hardest one ever. Yet I was only 15 years old.
Steve, my zen buddhist current landlord told me this: “When people start complaining a lot, it just means the relationship has come to an end.” He happened to tell me this when I was complaining about how I could no longer tolerate the rats coming in our kitchen and crawling all over our counters, the stove, on the fridge, etc. And I was also gripping about how I was tired of cleaning up after everyone.
But it’s true though, when our tolerance level drops in a relationship, it’s time to move on. It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship it is: a marriage, a friendship, work, living arrangement – they all come to an end at some point. That bitter end. Often all we need to do is simply acknowledge the relationship served its purpose for growth and it’s just time to move on… What’s sad is how we need to justify the end to ourselves by finding fault in others – rather than recognizing the timing.
It’s nobody’s fault when relationships end. To put blame, or to be frustrated it’s over would be like asking someone a ride to the airport, and then to be mad at them for not getting on the plane with us. All we asked for and needed was a ride to the airport! Facing the Departure sign is the ultimate proof of the end of a relationship.
Movin’ on… A whole new beginning awaits!
I wrote this a few days ago as I was waiting on a friend. I’m now sitting in my new future home dog sitting. Enjoying the new space. And I am at Day 99 of my #100HappyDays Challenge. Imagine that…