One Year Ago Today…

One year ago today I chose to put an end to 10 days of silence by packing my stuff and moving out of the boat. Out of his life.

One year ago today I left him. The man who was my everything.

“You’re leaving me for such a silly argument?” He asked. “Silly enough to not talk to me for 10 days?” I answered back with a question.

I’ve been feeling waves of sadness these past couple of weeks. I’m not sure if it’s because of this anniversary of loss, or if it’s because there’s been so much death in my surroundings, and family illnesses, and then there was this lump I found in a place where we don’t want lumps.

I’ve been doing too much introspection. I need to get out of my head. You know what they say about too much head…

Sorry. I have no idea where I was going with that one.

Dancing has helped me a lot to have my body take over telling ordering my head to shut the fuck up.

I’ve been reading A Journey of Souls written by Dr. Micheal Newton. In this book he shares the many stories of people told under deep hypnotherapy. His hypnosis brings out the person’s soul where he can then conduct an interview with the soul. It’s freakin amazing.

I’m at the part in the book where souls explain the process of life selection.

You know that shitty life you keep complaining about? You picked it for a very specific reason. Chew on that thought!

Life on earth is really about growth, for the soul. We are here with very specific lessons to learn. And sometimes we, as souls, choose harder life lessons to increase the chance of learning, and maximize the growth opportunities.

I have no reason to not believe this book. It ties in so much with what I’ve always felt deep down inside to be essential and true.

I’m also at the part where souls talk about the many soulmates and soul friends and soul gangs we have. And how we get signs that we are coming across a soul we know – a soul brought to us on our path for a karmic reason.

We’ve all felt these incredible encounters. Chance meetings. Instant kismet. Life changing situations and freaky shit. We’ve all experienced them, but were we aware of what was happening as these moments unfolded? And what did we do of these moments, of these people brought to us?

Did we waste them away ignoring them, fearing the exploration would be too difficult and painful? Or did we dive in and explore to the depth of why certain people were placed on our paths at certain points in our lives?

The book also talks about the tragedy of those mistakes in walking away from deeper soul connections because we simply chose to ignore the signs, or were too oblivious to see them.

So yeah…  One year ago today I left the man who was my life. Was there some form of karmic debt in that entire relationship? When I ended things with Roch – my 1st long-term relationship – it was a gut wrenching separation, one that took me years to get over. I sought out a clairvoyant who told me it was indeed a karmic debt. Am I experiencing a 2nd one, 20 years later?