I discovered two great things about my blindfold experience. Where I was afraid to feel sad and alone — I discovered incredible joy and started to laugh the moment I covered my eyes. And I was never left alone. I was like a magnet.
Almost to a point of annoyance.
I was surrounded. All I wanted to do after a while was to leave my little huddle group, and explore the room on my own. I feared my dancing partners would feel abandoned. So I stayed surrounded by these strangers.
I discovered I am still a people pleaser. Pleasing others, once again, became more important than doing what I suddenly felt the urge to do.
What this lesson has taught me is that I will most likely never really be alone. Whenever I feel icky, I know I can close my eyes and tap into that inner joy I found and feel secure in the knowledge that there will always be someone there for me. I will always be loved.
The entire experience felt like 5 minutes of ecstatic bliss. My little group moved as one. When we were asked to remove our eye covers, I kept my eyes closed. I didn’t want to open them.
In all honesty, I was almost embarrassed to discover who was standing in front of me and so close within my inner circle, but it was more than that. I didn’t want to lose that feeling of joy. It was as though my stomach was filled with butterflies. Not the nervous antsy jittery kind. But the good kind. The happy fluttery kind.
Would I do it again? Hell yeah! Will I allow myself further abandonment and exploration? I hope so!
Fuck you cancer.
I’m clean. My lump is just that. A lump. I was never happier to wipe away the gooey mess used to lube up the ultrasound scanner thingamajig.
Thanks to an unexpected gift card my boss gave me, I purchased Scrivener. I have officially launched Operation Re-Write of Unique: Story of a Girl.
My first draft used the 3rd person. What I thought was the proper 3rd person narrative turned out to be the all-knowing kind. Unlike the good kind of butterflies, my narrative was not the good kind. I’m still up in the air on the POV. Although I know most popular YA novels are in 1st (The Hunger Games, The Fault in Our Stars, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, etc.) there are some really rad 3rd person books such as the mildly successful Harry Potter series!
When I first entered this phase of re-writing I was convinced about my choice of a 3rd person narrative. Thanks to the great insights given to me by Marie my way better writer of a friend, I’d even pinned down who the narrator was to better define the voice. And then I questioned myself as I tend to do so frequently.
Damn you self-doubting self!
I’ll most likely stick to 3rd and keep some diary entries to give Unique her voice. They do say it’s the best POV when there’s something beyond the ordinary happening. The world Unique creates or discovers is just that kind of thing that needs to be described by another person.