In a relationship ˜in any relationship˜ we become each other’s mirrors. We reflect what we see. We attract what we are.
I also believe this has 2 sides: a positive and a negative side.
If what we see in ourselves is mainly our own negative crap, we’ll attract those who mirror this negative crap. Does the expression calling the kettle black ring a bell?
But if what we see in ourselves is mainly our qualities and positive traits, then this is what we’ll attract in others.
We can choose which side to pick. Team Dark VS Team Rainbow. We can choose to enter the dark side, or be all Pollyanna-Sound-of-Music-Purple-Dinosaur-Barney and shit. We have that power in us to choose.
Some people do choose the dark side. All they’ll ever see in others is a series of weaknesses and flaws. Someone compliments them, and they have the natural instinct to turn the compliment into an insult.
You know the type. Heck, you may even be the type!
And then there are those who say thank you when being insulted. I love the those (magical invisible arrow pointing to the word ‘those’ in previous sentence). I love them because we all have the strengths of our weaknesses. Our flaws are directly tied to our strengths. It’s a thing of beauty to see the compliment hidden inside an insult. It’s also a thing of beauty to recognize when someone is simply reflecting their own self-hatred and expressing it the only way they know.
By insulting others.
By insulting others we are trying to understand why we are with that flaw. We are criticizing ourselves above all else.
I choose to end the game of negative tag. I choose to be the end of the line. No more tag you’re it because there are no touch-backs. It’s not always easy. But it is my target. It is my goal.
It’s my goal because I want to surround myself with those who naturally see the best in me. It’s also my hope that I’ll be a source of influence of positivity on others. Years ago, I met and worked with an incredible woman who trained thousands and thousands of high school students in the art of leadership.
Her motto: If you see someone and treat them as they are, they will stay there. But if you see them and treat them as who they can become, then they will become so much more.
I was 15 years old when I first met her. She may have been my first ever girl-crush. My first ever source of utter inspiration. She’s been my end-goal. She doesn’t know it, but when I’m faced with a challenge I most usually ask myself what would she do in such a situation. She often whispers words of wisdom and encouragement when I fear I can’t keep moving forward. Or get out of the bed in the morning.
So. When you see nothing but ugliness, ask what part of yourself is bugging you. And work on that side. Scratch away the layers, you’ll see it most likely hides a gem. But stop screaming that the world is a mess and unfixable when you have the power to change it simply by changing your perspective. And shit.